


Kitty's Fic

by SupernaturalMystery306, therealkittyanon



Category: SPN Coldest Hits - Fandom, Supernatural
Genre: Maya Likes Dildos, Meta, Other, Porn Director!Setaeru, Tags under construction do not open till tags are done, Technosexual Fancy, chapters with people to be added even after the challenge is over, geekkitty is precious and bae, i don't know how to tag, it's because i am benevolent
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-18
Updated: 2016-07-18
Packaged: 2018-07-24 19:06:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7519717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SupernaturalMystery306/pseuds/SupernaturalMystery306, https://archiveofourown.org/users/therealkittyanon/pseuds/therealkittyanon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When it comes down to it, all our lives are pathetic tags.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Night To Remember

**Author's Note:**

  * For [platypusanon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/platypusanon/gifts), [SupernaturalMystery306](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SupernaturalMystery306/gifts), [Setaeru](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Setaeru/gifts), [Mayalaen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mayalaen/gifts), [geekkitty (braezenkitty)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/braezenkitty/gifts), [goodnightfern](https://archiveofourown.org/users/goodnightfern/gifts), [poD7et](https://archiveofourown.org/users/poD7et/gifts).



> I am gifting this to you all so that you fucking READ MY FIC instead of ignoring it. Those who have not been gifted yet won't have a chapter till later.
> 
> http://ao3tagoftheday.tumblr.com/post/147440792889/the-ao3-tag-of-the-day-is-too-meta
> 
> These are my tags.
> 
> A tiny devil wrote two chapters of this but I will not name said tiny devil because secrecy and because this is not the devil's entry.
> 
> I am making a habit of ragging on one person every time I write a fic. You can guess who it is this time.

 

 

[The Ao3 Tag of the Day is: A night to remember](http://ao3tagoftheday.tumblr.com/post/145881787803/the-ao3-tag-of-the-day-is-a-night-to-remember)

 

Platypus Anon is talking to their Alpaca farmer about benefits of free wi-fi and occasionally trying to ask the Alpaca if the Alpaca had a special Platypus in his life when the lights go out.

The Alpaca shrieks in the manliest way ever and suddenly there is an even louder shriek as the Platypus clings to the Alpaca farmer.

Then the light flickers back on and a tiny egg rolls across the ground and stills next to the clinging-to-each-other-totally-not-in-love-with-each-other-people.

Kitty Anon rounds the corner and stops when she sees them.

"WASSUP PLATY AND ALLY ARE YOU BOTH FINALLY GETTING YOUR ACT TOGETHER AND JUMPING EACH OTHER?"

Seeing the Platypus' glare, Kitty backtracks, "I MEAN JUMPING ON EACH OTHER TO SAVE YOURSELF!"

Little titters and giggles are heard from behind the Kitty, and "Platy" and "Ally" look at each other in fear.

They don't have any supernatural visitors, do they? The last time Dean and Cas broke into the Alpaca's house to have sex was both a terrifying and arousing situation for all.

And the humans- well, human and angel- had REALLY corrupted Charles and Mabel.

Speaking of Charles and Mabel... The Platypus looks into space to find the Platypus' kids, and suddenly they drop down from the ceiling.

Kitty Anon grins like a Cheshire cat, and goes "MWAHAHAHAHAHA" and says, "I TAUGHT THEM HOW TO FLY. THEY DIDN'T LEARN THE FULL LESSON, OBVIOUSLY I'M NOT TO BLAME FOR YOUR KIDS DROPPING FROM THE FLOOR."

"Um," the Alpaca farmer finally says, "AT least it's not a criminal breaking into our- I MEAN MY- house!"

Kitty pouts because why is the adorable Kitty not considered as cool as a criminal?

And no one mentions that the kids dropped from the ceiling, not the floor.

Years later they all look back on the night. It was certainly a night to remember.


	2. The Tumblr Experience

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy Fancy.

[The Ao3 Tag of the Day is: The Tumblr experience](http://ao3tagoftheday.tumblr.com/post/145803495001/the-ao3-tag-of-the-day-is-the-tumblr-experience)

 

SupernaturalMystery306 thumps her head down on her desk and then jumps up with pain and realizes too late that her desk was floating in the ceiling which means she hit her head on the ceiling and there is a huge bump on her forehead and her head and she's crying and tears are rolling down her cheeks.

She looks at the books on the desk and the books smile big fat pagey smiles at her and she glares at their mocking expressions. She can't take their smiley and bitchy faces anymore so she starts throwing them off the desk and they fly down to the ground and then she flies down too and starts ripping the pages up and the books are sobbing and then it just turns out that Setaeru told her to rip the books apart because Setaeru is a devilish demonic individual who told her to tear her books and salt and burn them.

So SupernaturalMystery306 picks up her laptop and plops down on her bed and there are about twenty million pillows and she's almost gone inside her bed because SO MANY PILLOWS AH MI GERD SO MANY AND THEY HAVE ALL JUST SUCKED HER IN. And then she opens her laptop and types her password ( **hEllOkIttY** , by the way) and then she goes to her favorite porn site and she logs into it (password is **i_love_spncoldesthits** , by the way) and then she sees all the porn and she's drooling and there's saliva on her screen and she belatedly realizes that she has been licking the screen.

"Ew Fanzi," she pretends to scold herself for the sake of appearing sane. BECAUSE PEOPLE WHO TALK TO THEMSELVES ARE TOTALLY ONE HUNDRED PERCENT SANE.

Then she leans back into the pillows and starts scrolling down. There's miles of porn on the screen.

Dean in panties, Dean in the impala, Cas with wings, Cas with aviators, Cas with a smile, Cas with Dean, Cas kissing Dean, Dean kissing Ass, Sam puking, Gabriel laughing, Gabriel giggling, Balthazar winking, Michael drinking, John shrinking, Lucifer thinking.

Tumblr is a truly glorious site.

And also her favorite pawrn site. Because she's classy.

Being classy reminds her of something and she starts writing a post.

"OH FUCK I HAVE MY EXAM TOMORROW OH FUCK OH FUCK SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME TO GO STUDY."

Lots of innocent people ~ who write PORN ~ think she's serious and so they tell her to study and wish her luck and she says thank you over and over again cause she's a corteous little shit.

Then she continues to scroll down. This endless scrolling feature of tumblr is good for such things. Such things being porn about Destiel and SPN.

Actually there's the occasional porn by the five-es-o-es people she follows. There's Michael shoving his tongue up Luckas' ass as Column shoves his dick into Austin's mouth who blindly slaps down on Michael's ass who howls and shoves his tongue deeper.

There's so much non existent porn. She's in heaven.

Then she remembers that she didn't write in the post what she wanted to so she opens up another post.

She posts too much shit about her life namely school and boys.

So she writes "I HAVE THINGS TO LEARN, A LIFE TO LIVE, AND YET I'M HERE"

This post gets a reblog from @ao3tagoftheday saying that she copied that blog.

Of course she doesn't care about it because she's dancing with joy because she loves that blog and her goal in life was to get noticed by it.

_**Well at least one of us is achieving their goals.** _

Through tumblr.

It's _THE TUMBLR EXPERIENCE._  


And then she sees a lot more posts and then she talks to all her friends and then she reblogs things from five years back like a creepy stalker and she generally acts like the loon she is.

But people tell her that she is adorable and Kitty looks at her jealously as Kitty lurks around the corner.  
Suddenly Kitty walks by and slaps SupernaturalMystery306 on the butt.

At that precise moment a porn lookalike of Destiel come on her dash. YES, THEY _COME_ ON HER DASH. Come come come come come come come come come come.

She loses all inhibitions and lunges at her unsuspecting device.

When she finally opens her eyes and looks down at the chewed remnants, her eyes grow 10000000 times in horror.

"Fuck, I've eaten my laptop."

Then she goes to Tumblr on her phone and writes posts about how her laptop broke its hinge and went to the shop for repairs.


	3. Shocking Transparency

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy Setaeru.

[The Ao3 Tag of the Day is: Shocking transparency](http://ao3tagoftheday.tumblr.com/post/145960737715/the-ao3-tag-of-the-day-is-shocking-transparency)

 

Setaeru writes lots of porn every day and runs a porn sideblog that features lots of cock and cock's sister.

Her life is a porn show where everyone but her participates in the porn. It's because she directs it. She's the coolest porn director around. People fall over themselves to be directed in her porn. She is porn reincarnate. Porncarnate.

So she is talking to some randomass shitbitch and said shitbitch asks what the plot for their latest movie is and Setaeru is like "the fuck?? wut u asking me?"

The shitbitch looks back at her cluelessly.

Setaeru facepalms and then pretends to be sweet and the transparency is shocking when says with sweetness dripping off her words:

"They fuck that's pretty much it lmao."


	4. Castiel is a Dildo Fairy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maya dis 4 u.

[The Ao3 Tag of the Day is: Amazon.com](http://ao3tagoftheday.tumblr.com/post/147529764113/the-ao3-tag-of-the-day-is-amazoncom)

Maya writes about fairies that spurt glitter out of their dicks because Maya was visited by the Dildo Fairy when Maya was twenty six and the Dildo Fairy and Maya had a great time buying dildos and shoving them up pretty boys' buttholes.

So Maya loves dildos and their fairies and she writes hot dirty fanfics about them.

Dean is a fairy and he shoves dildos up his ass because his ass is The House Of Dildos. 1000 dildos can fit inside him. Cas is the name of a dildo which is really just a fairy who got turned into a dildo by an evil witch called Amara because she thought Dean would stop loving DilCas but of course not. They have a profound bond that will stay in any shape and size. But don't worry because Castiel is hee-uge.

That's it.

 

**Author's Note:**

> DON'T FUCKING COMMENT OR I'LL SHOVE A POKER UP YOUR ASS NOW INSTEAD OF DEAN'S.


End file.
